The Dern Report: Royal Cartographers Prove World Is Flat

[Capsavian Hopewell]

Royal Cartographers Prove World Is Flat Dernport, Aidern 890 AD Scientists at the Royal Cartography Institute in Dernport have been claiming for generations that the world is flat.  Now, they say they have proof. The Dernish Naval Force ships DNF Chocolate Rain and DNF Trekker were assigned the task of gathering data in a coordinated mission previously not attempted by any known nations.  In so doing, the expedition was split and sent in opposing directions.  When they met after many years, the Royal Cartography Institute hailed their meeting as proof positive that the Flat World Theory is indeed fact. "For generations, we have believed that the world is flat." Shaman KlemCrosseye told reporters Tuesday.  "If it was not flat, these vessels would not have been able to meet.  If the world was spherical--like some quacks are still claiming--then the ships would have fallen into the sky when they went over the horizon." The esteemed Shaman demonstrated this theory with the aid of a physical model, showing the world in its traditional form, suspended above tusked creatures atop the shell of a giant tortoise.  (see image at right) Further proof was cited when expedition illustrators displayed drawings of the prophesized tusk-beasts.  Shaman KlemCrosseye explained, "The natives of these islands call the beasts 'Allen Fonts' and in fact have trained the tusk-beasts to serve as beasts of burden." The Royal Cartography Institute did not have a great deal of information regarding the new island natives which were discovered in their expeditions, though they held firm to fantastic stories of a loosely-knit confederacy of catfish, and semi-barbaric tribes fielding specialized berserker military units similar to that of the Imperium.  Speculation was raised that these islanders may be cast-away cousins of the northern Imperium people. A follow-up expedition is planned to begin this Spring, and will include additional crew of geologists, botanists, and diplomats in an attempt to learn more about these native islanders.