A countryside tour of River Wrought

[Capsavian Hopewell]

Hail, Pirate King!

It is my privilege to greet you once more.  The Dernish people have long enjoyed the great fishing opportunities of the River Wrought confluence near Campeche city.  Since your nation saw fit to close borders to Aidern, however, the tourists have become dismayed.

RodgTurnstone, noted Bey (governor) of Fort Wrought has taken it upon himself to form a tour group to chart these waters which the Dernish people find so delightful.

I thank you in advance for seeing these curious tourists safely through Pirate lands.

Vali Capsavian Hopewell

[Snarlin]

Belay yer talk, Vali!  Yer speech be flowery.  Yer smile be grand.  Ye can put a pig in a dress, and it still be a pig.  Yer "tour group" is not welcome in Campeche.  If ye have yer sights set on Campeche, ye will be in fer a fight.  If yer "tour group" be on t' way t' help that horseface Munro in his battle with Yourcenae, don' bother...they won't make it that far. 

Ye be a scabrous, putrid jellyfish of a man!  Not e'en rats would nest in yer corpse, nor et yer foul flesh!

If it's war ye be after, then War it is.  Yourcenae be our ally and friend.  An act o' aggression on any of us, be an act o' aggression on us all. 

Leave Vali.  Leave now, ye bilge-sucking blaggard.  This be not a warnin'. 

Lafitte,
Campeche

[Capsavian Hopewell]

Lafitte, King of Pirates, Lord of Campeche, Sea-Born and Storm-Raised:

Your insults sting as a cutlass.  Surely you do not think our small river tour group would be a target worthy of massacre?  They carry very little of value.  Just trinkets and tools for their surveying mission, and nothing more.  Assuredly loot so minuscule it would not be worth a second glance for fearless pirate raiders to waste their time with.

I am sure the tour group will not make too much of a mess as they pass through to their destination.  I beg of you, please permit these tourists their expedition unmolested.  They have families awaiting them back home.  Grant them safe passage through Campeche, and show the world that pirates are not barbarians.

If you assure me no harm will come to the tourists, I may be able to convince Bey RodgTurnstone to name a tributary in your honor.

Your humble petitioner,
Capsavian Hopewell

[Snarlin]

HOPEWELL!!!  Ye stinkin' mound o' whale blubber!  Send your Bey to me!  I shall flay 'im alive, et his liver, and send 'is head back t' ye in a bucket!  Yer macemen will see a tour o' me dungeons.  Yer catapults will burn in me forge.  Ye scum sucking festering boil!  Some of yer pansy-arse "tour group" be wearin' the rags o' that pustulent pimple Munro!  Peace he says!  Aye...I'll give 'im a piece.  Ye both are as insignificant as the scabs on me armpit!  Ye are not worth the seaweed I scrape from me ship's hull!  The tributaries will run red with the blood o' yer army.  Bring yer best, Hopewell.  Yer gonna need it.


Lafitte, Pirate King
Campeche

[Capsavian Hopewell]

Pirate King, this will all but certainly reduce your chances of having a creek or hill named in your honor.  Bey RodgTurnstone is a reasonable man, however.  I am sure I can convince him to set aside your commentary as simply anti-tourism sentiment.

If you find the time, might you send me a map with your finest bed and breakfasts in northern Campeche, please?  Thank you in advance.

Capsavian Hopewell

[Snarlin]

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!  HOPEWELL!!  Ye quivery lipped dandy!  Come back ‘ere and fight like a man!  Yer Bey sees a bit o’ blood and goes runnin’ back t’ ‘is Mama?  Ye be a splinter in the arse o’ destiny!  Yer armies stink like a whelk stall in August!   Turn yer men around and GIVE ME MY BATTLE!!!
Lafitte

[Viktor Ahriman]

Pirate King,

Is there any reason to be yelling and shouting at Hopewell?  I have known him for awhile now and I never known him to lie for any reason.  If he says he has a touring group, then its that.   Capsavian is an honest man and even though we have our differances over chocolate covered cherries, (which he is a moron for not liking them), he is a good and decent man.  I have seen pictures of him as a child that are carved in rocks playing with squirrels in the sand behind his mud hut.  Now as an adult, he carries that memory with him.  Maybe you are misunderstand your situation, and maybe you should offer a nice pirate dinner for him instead.  You two can rub your sticks together and make a fire for your night, then you can make smores and talk about what you have in common  .   You might be suprised what a man who believes in squirrel gods would accept!  Now would you two please stop the fighting over there!

Nuahs
Foreing Advisor

[Munro]

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!  HOPEWELL!!  Ye quivery lipped dandy!  Come back ‘ere and fight like a man!  Yer Bey sees a bit o’ blood and goes runnin’ back t’ ‘is Mama?  Ye be a splinter in the arse o’ destiny!  Yer armies stink like a whelk stall in August!   Turn yer men around and GIVE ME MY BATTLE!!!
Lafitte

Hail sir,

Your pleas have not fallen on deaf ears!  The scottish army will be only too happy to oblige. 

This very moment I have ordered my generals to blaze a trail with all haste for Campeche, and don't spare the horses!  They should be there in a few days.

Good luck to you and your men!

Regards,
Munro

[Snarlin]

Is there any reason to be yelling and shouting at Hopewell?  I have known him for awhile now and I never known him to lie for any reason.  If he says he has a touring group, then its that.

An army o' a dozen mixed Macemen, Catapults, Spearmen, and Chariots be not a "tour group".  Ye can believe what he tells ya, or believe what ye see.  The Vali be very welcome t' join me fer dinner.  I'll cut out 'is liver and serve it t' him raw.  This war will stop when one o' us be dead...no sooner.

Ye can help me kill 'im, or not.  Makes no diffrence t' me.  If'n ye won't help...get out o' me way.

Lafitte

[Capsavian Hopewell]

King of Pirates, Lord of Bandits:

I have not heard from Bey RodgTurnstone nor his tour group for many weeks.  It seems they have been chased from their riverside campground near Oakland, forced to flee into the desert.  I cannot understand why you would send such a massive army of veteran fighters to strike at helpless tourists?  What barbarism is this?

I will sacrifice three cats at the temple of the Great Squirrel and ask Him for assistance.  In His great wisdom, He will show you the blasphemy of your persecution of innocent tourists.

Vali Hopewell

[Snarlin]

Hail sir,

Your pleas have not fallen on deaf ears!  The scottish army will be only too happy to oblige. 

This very moment I have ordered my generals to blaze a trail with all haste for Campeche, and don't spare the horses!  They should be there in a few days.

Good luck to you and your men!

**Yawn**  Munro, ye tire me with yer "on-again"/"off-again" fancy fer war.  Ye be like one o' me wenches that can't seem t' make up her mind...changin' it from minute t' minute.  Yer not worth the plank we'll walk ye off of, but if it be a battle ye want, it's a battle ye get.  At least until ye change yer mind again.    

Lafitte

[Snarlin]

Aye Hopewell!  As promised...here be t' head o' yer Bey.  He cried like a schoolgirl 'fore he was seperated from it.  Keep t' bucket.  You'll need it t' clean up t' rest o' him.

Lafitte

[Viktor Ahriman]

Agarthia did not support any side in this war, but beheading a soldier of a tour group/war party is barbaric.  .  It was not enough that you took his life, but to cut ones head off and stick it in a bucket?!
Thus is why your civilization may fall.  Acts of torture dont provide you any support from the international community pirate king.  As of this minute, Agarthia will side with her friend Aidern.  We dont wish to enter your war, but be warned that if you come within our borders or waters, you will be destroyed.  We will show no mercy as you have shown no mercy.

Markus
Foreign Director

[Snarlin]

...but be warned that if you come within our borders or waters, you will be destroyed.

Aye.  We want no part o' yer borders or waters.  Keep 'em.  We gave the very same warnin' t' Aidern an' they disregarded our sovernty.  We asked the Vali to leave, or 'is Bey's head would come home in a bucket.  He didn't leave.  We sent 'is Bey's head home in a bucket.  We be a simple lot.  We ask little.  We ask to be left alone.  Life is filled wi' choices.  Wi' choices come consequences.  He chose....poorly.

Lafitte

[Capsavian Hopewell]

Lafitte!!  This is an outrage!  Bey RodgTurnstone was loved by the Dernish people.  How could you treat a gentleman with such brutality, barbarian pirate!?

The Dernish people will never forgive you for this obscene insult!

Vali Hopewell

[Viktor Ahriman]

Our prayers are with his family......

Markus
Foreign Advisor

[da_Vinci]

...but be warned that if you come within our borders or waters, you will be destroyed.

Aye.  We want no part o' yer borders or waters.  Keep 'em.  We gave the very same warnin' t' Aidern an' they disregarded our sovernty.  We asked the Vali to leave, or 'is Bey's head would come home in a bucket.  He didn't leave.  We sent 'is Bey's head home in a bucket.  We be a simple lot.  We ask little.  We ask to be left alone.  Life is filled wi' choices.  Wi' choices come consequences.  He chose....poorly.

Lafitte

This is why Yourcenae has has peace with Campeche since the dawn of time ... they are dangerous ... and ruthless ... and true to their word.

Normalesus (on the run), Foreign Minister of the former Kingdom of Yourcenae.

[Bernout]

Our prayers are with his family......

Markus
Foreign Advisor

I wonder at your narrow perception of events Markus.    Do you also grieve for the numerous casualties, military and civilian, that Campeche has suffered at the hands of Aidern and Scotland?  Where was your conscience when the city of Campeche fell to foreign invaders?

Where is your vaunted sense of civilization and the international community when it comes to numerous nations joining forces to invade others?  Surely such acts of barbarism and aggression should be condemned outright?

It seems to me that the Agarthia of today is a far cry from the Agarthia of ancient times which tried to promote peace in the region.

Grima
Rohan

[Munro]

Ah, this probably explains all the buckets we found in the armory at Campeche...  (and not a drop of rum in them)

[Viktor Ahriman]

Rohan,

Its nice to hear from you again.  Agarthia and Aidern have always had a good relationship.  I do remember events.  I remember that you and Snarlin belong to the "Demonic Triad".  I remember that it was Snarlin and DV who were threating the very lives the the Aiderns when they had nothing to do with the squabble between Hopewell and you.  Agathia has changed, but not on human compassion and the rule of law.  We do sorrow for all lost of life, but that is what happens in war.  It is unfortunate that some nations have joined forces, but what illegal about that?  Because the Demonic Triad is falling?  Past events lead to present events.  Actions done in the past always will have a negative or postive effect on those present events.  I believe it was Davinci that started a the war long ago when his nation stole workers and blamed it on ghosts?!  It was your trio that wiped out Matriarch.  So now that you are the target of other nations, your knees start to knock and you try to come up with exuses so the world might have pitty on you and your allies.  How would you like it if your men had their heads cut off and thrown in a bucket.  That is barbaric.  Causalties of war is common, but when you go beyond that and tear body parts off, that is inhuman.  Say what you will, but we wont side with a country that is barbaric.  We do feel for Beys family.  We do feel for the people of Cameche, because their leaders have gone insane.  We have talked to Scotland and Aidern, but talks have failed thus far.  There might be too much bad blood spilled to turn back now I am afraid.

Markus
Foreign Advisor

[da_Vinci]

Hail Markus,

It seems that our higherarchy continues to elude you ... as I, Leonardo, did not make any of the decisions about war and peace for Yourcenae ... that is the perogative of King Agamemnoff.

Precise rememberence seems to elude you as well.  Other than the unfortunate demonic possession of Hismes at the ruins of Dunharrow (do you recall who started the war that razed that city?), there has been no war between Yourcenae and Aidern.  Our two armies have never faced of in battle.  Also, the workers were not stolen (or we would have happily returned them), they were destroyed by the Ghost of Theodred.

The Matriarch brought her doom on her own head, provoking a border dispute with her Port of Swine, and murdering Singlis of Ilium in neutral lands.  Not unlike a certain adventure by Agarthia in Avalon, if my memory serves.  Oh, and there was her opportunistic invasion of Rohan from the dawn of history ...

After removing the Hennan threat, and containing the aggressive Aidern, the Alliance (which you call the triad) did not pursue any expansions by the sword.  Unlike the current Axis of Aggression ...

But have no fear, you will experience all of this first hand.  For certainly, you are next!

Leonardo

[Bernout]

Rohan,

Its nice to hear from you again.  Agarthia and Aidern have always had a good relationship.  I do remember events.  I remember that you and Snarlin belong to the "Demonic Triad".  I remember that it was Snarlin and DV who were threating the very lives the the Aiderns when they had nothing to do with the squabble between Hopewell and you.  Agathia has changed, but not on human compassion and the rule of law.  We do sorrow for all lost of life, but that is what happens in war.  It is unfortunate that some nations have joined forces, but what illegal about that?  Because the Demonic Triad is falling?  Past events lead to present events.  Actions done in the past always will have a negative or postive effect on those present events.  I believe it was Davinci that started a the war long ago when his nation stole workers and blamed it on ghosts?!  It was your trio that wiped out Matriarch.  So now that you are the target of other nations, your knees start to knock and you try to come up with exuses so the world might have pitty on you and your allies.  How would you like it if your men had their heads cut off and thrown in a bucket.  That is barbaric.  Causalties of war is common, but when you go beyond that and tear body parts off, that is inhuman.  Say what you will, but we wont side with a country that is barbaric.  We do feel for Beys family.  We do feel for the people of Cameche, because their leaders have gone insane.  We have talked to Scotland and Aidern, but talks have failed thus far.  There might be too much bad blood spilled to turn back now I am afraid.

Markus
Foreign Advisor

Markus...you babble on like an old woman.  I know not who this "Snarlin" or "DV" are, nor has Rohan ever recognized that ridiculous Demonic Triad term that was created by the propaganda machine of our enemies at that time.  And if you want to talk about cause and effect let us also recognize that it was Aidern and Henna who started the very first war in our region which led to Campeche and Yourcenae coming to Rohan's aid and ultimately to Henna's downfall.  Do you not find it ironic that Scotland is at the heart of the current conflict yet they had no part in the original events that you reference?

But all of this is irrelevant.  Our alliance does not seek pity and Rohan is proud to have been part of an alliance that has long stood the test of time.  What I objected to was the transparency in Agarthia's diplomacy.  It should be obvious to everyone where your loyalties lie and how shallow your statements of civility are.

Grima
Rohan

[Capsavian Hopewell]

The venerable Bey RodgTurnstone has been avenged this day. 

Though nothing can make him whole again, the barbarian city of Oakland will be renamed Turnstone in his memory.  A statue in the likeness of the Bey, headless and holding a bucket, will remind generations hence of the sacrifice he gave to his country, and the furtherance of international tourism.  It will no doubt cause children nightmares, but this too is a useful purpose his memory will serve.

At last, the Word of the Great Squirrel can be brought westward beyond River Wrought, and the fabled acorn harvests of Oakland's namesake groves will be delivered to His furry disciples.

All hail.  For He is furry.

Capsavian

[r_rolo1]

Hail Markus,

It seems that our higherarchy continues to elude you ... as I, Leonardo, did not make any of the decisions about war and peace for Yourcenae ... that is the perogative of King Agamemnoff.

Precise rememberence seems to elude you as well.  Other than the unfortunate demonic possession of Hismes at the ruins of Dunharrow (do you recall who started the war that razed that city?), there has been no war between Yourcenae and Aidern.  Our two armies have never faced of in battle.  Also, the workers were not stolen (or we would have happily returned them), they were destroyed by the Ghost of Theodred.

The Matriarch brought her doom on her own head, provoking a border dispute with her Port of Swine, and murdering Singlis of Ilium in neutral lands.  Not unlike a certain adventure by Agarthia in Avalon, if my memory serves.  Oh, and there was her opportunistic invasion of Rohan from the dawn of history ...

After removing the Hennan threat, and containing the aggressive Aidern, the Alliance (which you call the triad) did not pursue any expansions by the sword.  Unlike the current Axis of Aggression ...

But have no fear, you will experience all of this first hand.  For certainly, you are next!

Leonardo

Strong words for someone hiding in the woods, Leonardo.

The Aliance ( or triad, in markus words ) was the only public ofensive aliance in our continent ( call it defensive war if you want, but the fact is that matriarch cities were conquered and that requires ofensive action ). the aliance army was strong enough to defeat any other civilization in our lands and had shown that it had the will to do that. I would not be surprised to see all this military reactions to your actions vs Henna: even if you had the will of living in peace after Matriarch demise, the fact is that your Aliance could kill any nation alone, but not another group working even than loosely together.... and no one bordering any of the members of the Aliance could feel safe with the fate of matriarch burning in their minds.

I do not have any issue with any of the Aliance members and even my peacekeeping mission has avoided at all costs to engage in combat with Yourcenaean troops ( the only reason why you are still alive, Leonardo ). Until some years ago we had fruitful relations with the Kingdom of Campeche and had not cooperated in military terms with any of the agressors of the Aliance. No babylonian troops served under the command of foreign armies except when barbarian raiders atacked Mali and the only soldiers of foreign lands that serve under my command is a group of Malian skirmishers that decided to seek adventure and glory around my realm. But , in spite of not having anything to do with the current fate of Campeche, I can understand why Yourcenae neighbours in the east feel uneasy about the members of a aliance that already had the blood of a queen in their hands.....

Ricardo

Ruler of the land between the rivers and protector of the Yourcenaean people

[da_Vinci]

Hail, Riccardo!

The demise of Yourcenae as a regional power does not change the truth of the past, so I will continue to strongly speak the truth of history when necessary.

The Yourcenaean people appreciate your forbearance in your operations within our lands.

But I think you underestimate the threat to Rohan posed by Aidern and Henna (which, by the way, was another public alliance on our continent) ... who had effectively surrounded Rohan, cutting her off from support from her allies.  Recall that Henna had invaded Rohan in their infancy, so we had the same fear of the Henna-Aidern Axis that you claim the rest of the continent had of our alliance.

We had sufficient provacation to war, and did offer Henna a peace treaty preserving half of her lands, which she refused.  The safety of Rohan required a weakened Henna, and as the price of the war escalated, due to the Matriarch's intransigence, the cost of peace did as well.

The offer of peace and keeping half of the lands, which was given to the Matriarch, was a much better offer than any that has been given to Agamemnoff by the current Axis of Invasion ...

Regards,

Leonardo